Chinese Scientists Arrested For Spying On Porn Industry?

by Calvin Clark on June 22, 2018

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Bo Jiang is a Chinese national who was in Virginia helping NASA do all their important space shit. After he finished his work, he purchased a one-way ticket from Washington, DC to Beijing but before he could depart, federal investigators arrested him and accused him of sharing sensitive information with the Chinese government.

Sorry, did I say sensitive information? I meant sexy information.

Jiang tried to leave the country with a NASA issued laptop, which authorities initially feared contained important NASA secrets. However, what the laptop actually had on it was pirated pornography.

After the contents of his laptop’s hard drive were thoroughly examined, it was determined that he wasn’t so much a spy as much as he was just a normal dude who likes to watch porn at work.

The man behind Jiang’s arrest is a Republican congressman named Frank Wolf. Despite not knowing shit about science and computers, Wolf spearheaded the arrest and expressed concern that foreign nationals are being issued NASA computers.

Given that he probably learned everything he knows about computers and the internet from TV shows like NCIS, he probably thought the laptop contained special hardware, launch codes, and satellite images of Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

When it turned out the laptop contained little more than a few Stoya fuck flicks, Wolf stuck to his fear-mongering guns but everyone involved was done caring. Dr. Jiang was exonerated of all espionage charges and was allowed to return to China, although he was charged with illegally downloading pornography.

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