Chronicles of a Libertine: “M” is for Multiple Sex Partners

by Emmanuelle Undine on August 26, 2010

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So, you want the freedom to fuck other people without having to cheat on or break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse? Achieving sexual freedom is easier than you might think. Be warned, however, that it takes not only a heavy dose of emotional maturity, but also the ability to be honest and listen with compassion. Provided you have the guts to take that first step, the liberation and fulfillment you will come to experience through swinging with your lover can only be described in one word: joy.

If you’ve been in a monogamous relationship for some time, the emotional impact of introducing new partners into your sex life can be overwhelming. Transforming a fantasy into reality can be scary, especially if you fear losing the intimacy that brought you and your lover together in the first place. PC and I have been libertines from the start. We had both experienced dissatisfying long-term commitments and, prior to even meeting, had come to the realization that sexual monogamy was not for either of us. In my case, I was prepared to try swinging even at the risk of losing PC. Exploring that aspect of my sexuality was that important to me.

The lesson? Know who you are. Know what you need. Have the balls to go after it. If fucking other people is necessary to you, don’t be ashamed or be duped into thinking that there’s something wrong with you. Accept it and find a way to make it work. If your current partner isn’t open to talking about and exploring this side of your psyche, there’s always another hotty waiting in the wings…. Yes, that’s callous, especially coming from a woman, but I’m talking to the ladies too. If you’re a slut like me, embrace it. Find yourself a freaky guy who makes you feel like you’re worth your weight in gold, and who’s eager to share your sexual adventures.

Besides working up a sweat with beautiful strangers in dark little rooms at our fave sex clubs, the most satisfying aspect of recreational sex (rec sex) for PC and I is how it contrasts to and thereby magnifies our intimacy. The thrill of rec sex is the novelty and variety it offers: being touched in new ways; tasting a mouth that is not my lover’s; sliding my fingers into another woman’s smooth, wet hole; feeling a hard cock fill my pussy while I deepthroat PC; or watching him eat another woman out…. The lack of emotional connection that rec sex requires, however, makes playing with strangers lose its glamour pretty quickly (that’s one reason why PC and I try to avoid fucking the same people more than a couple of times).

Without a strong bond to keep us grounded, going home after an evening of orgies, smelling of sweat and tasting of pussy, could easily invite the sense of emptiness that always used to creep in after a night of casual sex when we were each flying solo. Instead, at the end of the night we feel sated and at peace, craving nothing more than the luxurious indulgence of solitude, so that, after a brief rest, we can devour each other without interruption.  Once you’ve lived through the intensity of that contrast – the euphoric celebration of the body that characterizes rec sex juxtaposed to the delicious merging of two souls that defines intimate sex – there is no going back.

Tempted? Want to give swinging a try? Read next week’s post for some practical tips to get you started.

Postscript: If you like the new pics, you can thank PC. He’s the photographer.

Read all of Emmanuelle’s sordid sex stories

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