Company Introduces Star Wars Themed Sex Toys

by RICK RODAY on December 12, 2017

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There’s a Star Wars movie coming out this year and that means one thing: merchandise. Ever since the first Star Wars movie came out in 1977, the franchise has been almost entirely about selling children’s toys to adults. Years later people are still shelling out major cash for Jedis and Stormtroopers that will never see the outside of their packaging.

That’s an impressive feat and a testament to the franchise’s longevity. However, one can only imagine how much better they would be doing if they recognized their true demographic and sold actual Star Wars adult toys.

While there may be a brave few out there who stuck their wookie where the sun doesn’t shine, Lucasfilm has never sold an actual sex toy. Looking to capitalize on this untapped market, an Australian company called Geeky Sex Toys has created a line of erotic toys called Star Toys.

Though copyright law prevents them from giving them explicit Star Was themed names, the iconic image of a neon colored phallus coming out of a metallic saber hilt lets consumers know that “orgasms they will have.”

Some would argue that after the release of The Phantom Menace featuring a female member of Yoda’s species, any green Fleshlight would technically be the first Star Wars sex toy. However, this is kind of a niche product that only services a small portion of the sex toy consuming demographic.

Geeky Sex Toy’s line features a wide range of products that cater to every consumer. In addition to light saber dildos there are personal massagers that look like Darth Vader, butt plugs that resemble C3P0, and a Death Star shaped ball gag.

There’s pretty much something for anyone who wants to masturbate while watching the new Star Wars movie. According to a report by Pornhub Insights, this may be more people than we think.

In the days after the release of The Force Awakens it was noted that searches for Star Wars themed porn increased by over 1800%. Factor in that this movie almost doubled the number of female characters in the whole franchise and this year’s The Last Jedi has the potential to top this impressive feat. All those horny Star Wars fans could be in the market for a hollowed-out replica of Han Solo frozen in carbonite that has a rubber vagina inside that is also part of the Star Toy line. Not me though.

I’m perfectly happy with my 5-year-old Fleshlight that after years of use already looks like a Predator’s mouth. That’s all the sci-fi sex toy I need.


Image: Abby Cross in Star Whores: Princess Lay by Brazzers

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