Dildos Dangling From Power Lines? I LOVE THIS TOWN!

by CALICO RUDASILL on July 31, 2015

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Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 16 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

Ah, Portland. Land of foodies, hipsters, folksy rock music, sustainable gardening and cute bungalow housing. And, of course, there are the dildos hanging from power lines.

Yes, it seems that charming Northwest city that everyone from California wants to move to (because they have water, and, for the moment, affordable housing) is now on the map for an odd yet entertaining phenomenon: pairs of sex toys (or to be more precise, dildos) have been seen dangling from power lines on a number of busy streets in the city’s business district.

Now, those of us who live in cities know there has been a long-time practice of pairs of sneakers being tied together by the laces and being thrown up into the air to dangle from power lines. The shoes can stay there for years until weather, gravity, birds or irate residents cause them to come down. The reasons for this practice have a long and storied mythology. Some say they are related to urban gang activity; but small towns experience the seemingly harmless pranking as well. The tying together of the two dildos on a string mimics this practice, but maybe only because that’s the best way to get two dildos to stay on a power line. How else are you going to entertain the masses, embarrass the Pollyannas, and attract the tourists?

As the article linked above states, the story has only reached social media this week, but a video posted to Youtube in late June shows that the dangling sex toys have been provoking the ire and amusement of locals for a few weeks now…The Daily Dot even provided a map for people to take a driving tour of the dildo decorations!

The dildos are mostly orange and white. Which suggests some sports team connection, but let’s not go there.

There is a rumor that someone has claimed responsibility for the prank, after a sex shop and documentary filmmaker both tried to take credit; a local Portland newspaper heard from a source at VICE News that a woman and her friends were given 10,000 flawed sex toys from a manufacturer. They could not be sold because of a design flaw, so the woman and her friends decided to engage in some joyful “dick tossing,” the article said. The sex toy fairy has not been positively identified, because she doesn’t want to face harassment of possible jail time.

As to why the sex toys are hanging out in Portlandia, city of steampunkery and paleo diet enthusiasts, it’s anyone’s guess. But Portland, as far as we can tell, is a very sex-positive city with a number of popular sex shops, including She Bop, a female friendly sex shop named for the Cyndi Lauper song said to be about masturbation. Others include Spartacus, Adam & Eve, Oh Baby, and Lovers, to name but a few. So if you’re in the area, be sure to snap some selfies with those hanging dildos, and visit a sex shop or two.

Calico Rudasil is a Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:

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