Here’s A Fun Intersection: Pirates, Prostitution And Placekickers

by CALICO RUDASILL on April 14, 2017

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Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

You’ve just gotta love Nevada.

I mean, where else can you go where a series of relatively short drives will take you from being on top of one of the biggest sources of hydroelectric power in the world, an unbelievably garish display of how some of this power is used, to a top-secret military installation, to an enormous natural lake (or, if you prefer, an enormous manmade one) and/or one of the most stunning collections of rock formations you could ever ask to witness?

Of course, if your tastes run in a more ribald direction, Nevada is also home to a large proportion of the country’s (rare) legal brothels – brothels soon to include, if Dennis Hof is to be taken seriously, one with an Oakland Las Vegas Raiders theme.

I Was Right: ‘Walking The Plank’ IS A Sexual Euphemism!
“My seventh sex palace will be called ‘Pirate’s Booty Sports Brothel’ and it will be the first brothel entirely dedicated to athletes and their die hard fans,” Hof said in a press release issued March 28.

While it may be true his new joint will be the first legal brothel so dedicated, my strong hunch is there have been surreptitious ones with similar goals, or at the very least, the occasional strip club VIP room with a strong preference for pro athletes.

But enough of my nitpicking; tell us more, Dennis!

“I’ve had a license for a seventh brothel near Las Vegas for some time now, but I was waiting for the right time to launch another house of debauchery,” says Hof. “The Raiders coming to Vegas will mean big business for me, so my next sex den will honor the ‘Men in Black’ and their ‘Raider Nation.’”

While I’m not sure why there’s ever a wrong time to launch a house of debauchery, I do see Hof’s point: Sports and paid-for sex go together like…. Well, just about everything else and paid-for sex, I suppose.

If Hof goes forward with his plan, this much is sure: He’ll never be at a loss for wordplay which unites sex and football. We are, after all, talking about sport filled to the brim with “sacks” in which it’s crucially important to achieve “penetration” of the opposition’s “backfield.”

Hmm…. The more I read over the double entendre-filled lines above, the more I think Hof is opening a brothel to cater to the wrong demographic here. Maybe this project is one on which he should consult with the former owners of The Shady Lady Ranch?

Speaking Of Piracy….
In any event, the fact the Raiders employ pirate imagery isn’t the only reason why a brigand theme makes sense for Hof, because there’s also the thorny little question of whether the Raiders will cotton to a brothel owner using their intellectual property in promoting his sex club.

The possibility of winding up in hot water with the Raiders’ legal team seems to be a bit lost on Hof, judging by his stated plans for the brothel.

“Pirate’s Booty will have the magnificent ‘Darrell Russell Hall of Dames,’ named after the late-great Raiders’ defensive tackle and well-known Bunny Ranch patron,” Hof noted in his press release.

If I were Hof, I might not commission the signage for his Hall of Dames just yet, particularly if he’s planning to specify Russell was a Raider on the signage.

As trademark attorney T.C. Johnston told the Huffington Post, referencing the marks held by “famous brands” like the Raiders without their permission, even if you’re just doing so in promotional materials, is a potentially risky business.

“A brothel using the Raiders ‘brand’ for profit would be an almost too-cute TV plot case,” Johnston said, noting the Raiders could argue dilution and tarnishing of their marks by association with Hof’s planned house of ill repute.

In response to a query from HuffPo, Hof acknowledged the risk, but scoffed at it in the same breath.

“We’re damn sure going to have some fun with it,” Hof said. “I can’t wait for the cease-and-desist letter.”

It’s great that Hof has a cheerful disposition toward the idea of being threatened with legal action by the Raiders and all, but suppose the Raiders don’t do him the courtesy of threatening, and instead just wait for him to infringe on their marks, then sue?

I’m no lawyer, but I’ve been party to enough civil actions to know Hof might not “have some fun” with that.

Of course, the most likely outcome here is Hof gets some attention for his press release, receives a friendly (or not-so-friendly) call from someone like John Yow, then decides to dial back the overt connection between his pirate’s booty and this pirate’s booty.

Calico Rudasil is a (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:

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