How Not To Have An Office Affair

There was a bit of a sex scandal going on in one of the government offices for the city of Washington D.C., shocking I know. During 2010, a female District Department of Transportation employee and a male worker from the Office of Unified Communications had an affair.

Seems that an “Anonymous Source” (*cough* the chick’s husband *cough*) sent copies of some of the filthy emails that the two dirty birds had exchanged to a supervisor. Now I get that office sex happens sometimes, it can be super hot, but you have to be smart about how you conduct yourself – staying completely off the radar is probably your best bet.

These folks sent emails to each other using their to government email addresses and occasionally with their government issued Blackberrys. I think the best part of this whole story is in the emails that the two exchanged with each other.

Maybe it’s just because I’ve dated a lot and I’m fairly good at reading people through text but I really think that this lady thought that she was head over heels for a dude that was only in it for the sexy times. Every single email is sprinkled with the word, “baby” to the point where it’s getting a bit obnoxious. She seems to be so infatuated with him because he’s paying her the smallest bit of attention.

In ONE email, she admitted:

1. To fucking him in her office (Those post it notes have that “special stick”)

2. To fucking him in her work car (By going to lunch, I meant swallowing your cum)

3. To fucking him on her bed at home (What husband? Oh THAT husband? He won’t be in town for days besides, your dick feels way better then his does)

4. Admitted to loving him two months after they began their affair (I know what love is! Love is a strong, hard cock)

Oh boy.  Head for the hills man. This chick is craving the attention that you’ve been paying to her vagina and she’s hooked! His response to her is perfect though. This guy took a page right out of the This is How You Play Women and Get Your Cock Sucked Handbook.

From the male OUC worker to the female DDOT worker on October 10, 2010:

…can’t we enjoy the present and think about the future later…Ur still married and I have other relationships…I want to enjoy our time together when I come to the office…I think u need some time to be intimate again and not worry about ‘us’ so much…”

 That’s it.  Start planning your escape now while you still have the ability to feel guilt free about ruining her marriage and career.

There’s the kicker though.

Neither of them got fired.

Apparently fucking on the job in company vehicles and in the office as well as using company equipment to conduct your extramarital affair is ok as long as you work for a paper shuffling government agency.