It’s A Good Thing Tristan Thompson Knows How To Rebound…

by CALICO RUDASILL on June 1, 2018

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Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

If you’re the kind of guy with a talent for aggravating your significant other (and yes, I’m married to someone who fits into that category quite well) and you want your relationship to survive and last, it pays to get good at groveling.

A lot of men never master the art of expressing contrition though, which is why it’s not exactly rare to see tabloid headlines like “Ben Affleck Begged Jennifer Garner for Forgiveness After Confessing That He Cheated.” In this case, the headline suggests the man in question tried to grovel his way back into his significant other’s heart, but failed – quite possibly because he went off on a tangent to boast about his various global charitable efforts in the middle of it.

Next To Make-Up Sex, On-The-Rebound Sex Is The Best

Where the recent dalliances (and further alleged dalliances) of NBA player Tristan Thompson are concerned, I’m not yet worried about whether he’s a great beggar-of-forgiveness, not because rumor has it Khloe Kardashian is likely to be very forgiving because she’s a “hopeless romantic,” but because the only thing I know about Tristan is that he’s really good at rebounding.

It’s a skill which could come in handy, should Thompson’s cheating ways lead to him getting dumped more unceremoniously than a Chicago Bulls-shot brick.

Some people warn that being on the rebound can leave people emotionally unavailable, or feeling ashamed, but I think so long as he gets to unleash a thundering dunk after the rebound, Tristan will soon be seen jogging back down the court with a grin on his face – so to speak.

Besides, I’ve always found that next to make-up sex, on-the-rebound sex is the best. Or maybe I only think that because I’ve been married so long and I’m feeling nostalgic for the days when my relationships lasted approximately the same amount of time as the average thunderstorm – and typically were followed up by no-strings-attached sex with the intensity of such a tempest, as well.

In The Same Year Lebron Might Leave Him, Too?

If Khloe does dump Tristan in the weeks or months ahead, it could turn out to be part of a very long summer on Tristan’s part. After all, a lot of people seem to think Lebron James will leave the Cleveland Cavaliers this summer to become a Los Angeles Laker.

Come to think of it, maybe the uncertainty of his professional future is behind Tristan’s wandering eye? After all, while it’s not listed on most pop-psychology “why men cheat” lists, stressing out about work leads people to do all kinds of other stupid stuff, so maybe it makes you more likely to cheat on a Kardashian, too.

File Under “It Could Be Worse…”

I want to end on a positive note, which isn’t easy in a post which is, at its heart, all about a guy cheating on his pregnant girlfriend, which is an undeniably shitty thing to do. Still, I’m a glass-half-full kind of person, so try to find the silver lining on this celebrity cloud I must.

With that in mind, it could be worse: Instead of it happening as he was walking into the Manhattan Four Seasons, Tristan could have been photographed while he was being carried out of the Love Ranch.

Too soon?

Calico Rudasil is a Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:


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