The Mystery Of Portland’s Power Line Sex Toys

by Calvin Clark on May 15, 2018

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I’m paranoid about locking the door when I leave the house, but with all my Jersey “street smarts” and life experiences I never figured out one thing.

Why the hell people throw shoes onto power lines.

Maybe it’s a social statement, someone marking their territory, or even just an act of petty vandalism. I never understood why people would tie their shoes together and throw them so that they wrap around utility wires- but at least I never saw any dildos up there.

A vandal from Oregon upped the ante from a pair of worn out Chuck Taylors and thrown sex toys in the power lines of Portland. While such a crime would rarely make the news, the fact that something sexual was being openly displayed was offensive enough to create a stir.

After reading about the hubbub everyone was making over a few sex toys hanging from his city’s power lines, a man named Alex contacted the local news to tell his side of the story. It was at this point we found out he basically did it for shits and giggles.

Alex claims a woman driving a Mini Cooper pulled up in front of him and removed a box from her trunk. Inside were various kinds of sex toys which she asked to leave “around town.” Not one to refuse the request of a mysterious woman with a trunk full of masturbatory aids, Alex accepted the mission without finding much else about who he called the “adult sex toy fairy.”

This is a potentially dangerous prank!

Earlier this month we read about a woman who used a battle worn dildo as a weapon in an altercation with her partner. If one dildo was an effective enough weapon to warrant an assault and battery charge, stringing two together in order to throw them around power lines could create some kind of super powerful sex toy nunchucks. Now I’m equal parts frightened and aroused.

When the woman known as the “adult sex toy fairy” finally came forward and, it turned out Alex wasn’t the only one involved with flinging rubber cocks everywhere.

Apparently she and her friends were given 10,000 rejected sex toys and decided to distribute them to a number people to throw around town. She described the act of “dick-tossing” the toys as “an exercise in happiness,” adding “it was a fun, hilarious thing to do.” How Curious!

Rather than someone making a social statement about sexuality and taboos associated with masturbatory aids, it was just a couple of women giving boxes of sex toys to strangers and telling them to fling them wherever they would like. Some people just want to watch the world burn.

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