New York City’s Loudest Lovers? Cool!

by Calvin Clark on October 20, 2018

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Everyone in my family has had their name in the paper for one reason or another. Both of my parents and my sister have received a commendation that was newsworthy, and they have the clippings framed to prove it. On the other hand, my big brother ended up in the paper after a high school prank gone awry and nobody really likes to talk about it.

Some may say he shamed the whole family but that’s mostly just me trying to justify my own obscurity.

I sometimes still fantasize about doing something worthy of print but in this age of sensationalized news, having my name in the paper may be more than I bargained for. With newspapers favoring clickbait headlines that make even the sleaziest tabloids blush, reporters don’t care how they ruin lives as long as it sells.

Then again what embarrasses an ordinary person may encourage the extraordinary. When a website reported on “New York City’s loudest lovers” after finding an address with the most noise complaints, they may have been trying to shame its occupants. Instead they may have exposed them as legends.

With a population of 8.5 million being the best at anything in New York City is damn near impossible, but being recognized as the loudest lover? That’s a feat.

According to a report made on data collected from New York’s complaint hotline, an address in Brooklyn received the most calls about loud sex. After doing some really lazy sleuthing the original reporter determined the address was home to 31-year-old Dahiana Valerio and 26-year-old Byron Perez.

Unfortunately for Dahiana, an aspiring musician and model, this caused some embarrassment as Byron is not her boyfriend. Rather than let people run away with false theories and accusations, the real culprit came forward. Dahiana’s 49-year-old mother Olga!

The elder Valerio and her much younger boyfriend were confirmed to be the ones incurring all the noise complaints and their official response was “sorry not sorry.” When she met Byron, who is the building’s handyman, they had an instant connection and were open about their hot-and-heavy relationship despite a 23 year age difference.
After reading the original story that tried to pin the intercourse on Dahiana and her mom’s boyfriend, she was left in a rather uncomfortable position. Though everyone was slightly embarrassed between the implied affair, Olga did not apologize for having a healthy and passionate love life with her boyfriend.

If anything she was proud of it!

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