Penis-Less Man Fucks 100 Chicks (& Now He’s Getting A Dick)

by Calvin Clark on November 2, 2016

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Whenever I get brutally smashed by someone with a considerably greater amount of athleticism than myself, my boxing coach will squirt water in the general direction of my face slap me on the top of the head and say “hard work is the great equalizer.”

What he means is that people born with a gift can be defeated if you work harder than they do. Sure, I squander this advice by going to Taco Bell after every single session, but for people who genuinely care about being good at something it is worthwhile advice. If you are willing to work hard enough, you can overcome any disadvantage – even if you were born without a penis. Wait, what?

39-year-old Andrew Wardle is a British man who was born without a penis. Unwilling to let this break his stride, he slept with over 100 women using LSD and ecstasy. While there are no accounts of what he does in the bedroom, I’m going to guess there’s a lot of fingering, licking and prostate stimulation involved.

Wardle says he used drugs to overcome the psychological effects of being born without a wiener, and to serve as a ruse to why he would not perform vaginal sex. He would claim the drugs prevented him from achieving an erection, and that only 20 percent of the women he slept with were told the truth. However, with a little help from Uncle Science, Wardle is about to receive his very first penis – constructed out of flesh from his own arm!

The procedure involves taking a “large flap” of skin for his arm and rolling it into a tube; kind of like a skin-burrito you can fuck someone with. His new penis will be able to pass urine, have feeling, and become erect with the help of a “pump operated implant.” What more could you really ask of a penis?

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