Penis Rising From the Ashes

by Alpha Harlot on November 17, 2017

Post image for Penis Rising From the Ashes

Over in Farmington, Utah, they’re excited about a new high school that they’ve built. It’s taken years of construction and a fuck ton of money, but by next year it will be open and the halls will be filled with screaming students and their raging hormones. They’ve decided to use a Phoenix as their mascot but some parents are taking issue with the fiery bird.

Kyle Fraughton is a father concerned with the way that the plural of Phoenix sounds. He did some googling with his pals and learned that you can either use the word Phoenixes or Phoenices…but he think that both options sound too much like the world “Penises.”

I think it’s fucking hilarious.

My fingers are crossed that this is just some dude that’s trolling for the sake of trolling, but there are over 3000 signatures on a change.org petition that he created to have the school change the mascot.

That means that there are 3000 people out there that feel the need to sexalize the name of a bird that honestly isn’t even sexual.

Know what bird names sound sexual?

How about red-footed Booby…or even the tufted titmouse. What do you think would happen if a white throated swallow met up with a giant game cock?

There’s legit nothing sexual about a Phoenix. If you hear the word “penis” when you say the word, “phoenix,” maybe you need to check your perversions at the door. I’ve got the feeling that Fraughton and the rest of his gaggle are a bunch of religious zealots who are looking for trouble.

If I, the queen of all things perverse, can’t figure out a way to make the world Phoenix sexual, there’s no way it’s happening in the real world.

I mean, except if you name happens to be Phoenix Marie and you’re one of the most legendary cougars of all time.

Here’s a clip of my favorite MILF getting her butt fucked by James Deen because her body is fantastic and deserves to be worshiped. She makes soft dicks rise from the ashes.

What do you Peepz think? Should the school change the name of it’s mascot or get over the fact that they are just making shit up to stir the pot?

Let me know in the comments and follow me on twitter to keep up to date on all my pervy antics.

Source: Dead Spin

Image: Phoenix Marie in Anal Queen Escort by Brazzers

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