Practice Your Oral Sex Skills On Your iPhone

by Lola Byrd on March 10, 2014

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It’s March, the last dark vestige of a long ass winter. I wouldn’t blame you if you were a little bit out of practice when it comes to the ladies. It’s cold as a motherfucker and, try as you might, going out to play the let’s-fuck-for-one-night-and-maybe-more game is a little bit daunting. We did have a polar vortex to contend with. So, I get it.

But we just moved our clocks ahead by an hour this weekend, which means that the days are getting longer and in two shakes of a lamb’s tail it’s going to be fucking weather.

While we wait for all the snow to melt before poking our noses outside it might be good to brush up on some of our tried and true sex skills, and since it’s 2014, there’s an app for that.

Lick This is an iPhone app that gives your tongue the kind of workout it will need to pull off an all night oral session: “flick a light switch, move a zipper up and down, solve a maze, crank a handle and  ring a doorbell with your tongue” on your iPhone’s touch screen.

Just between you and me, I’m just a tad OCD when it comes to germs. The idea of licking my phone is out of the question, which is strange considering all the strange dick I’ve licked, but the fact remains that I would not want to touch my phone with my tongue. Ewww.

Of course, you could do what the creators of Lick This suggest and wrap your phone in plastic (YAY for dental dams) before getting down to business, or you could always do what what generations of teenage girls have been doing since the invention of the French Kiss: practice on your hand.

Practice makes perfect:

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Via by @misslolabyrd

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