Scientists Create An Orgasm Machine For Women — Huzzah!

by Calvin Clark on October 6, 2017

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Some time ago a surgeon from North Carolina named Stuart Meloy figured out he had the magic touch. He was attaching electrodes to a female patient during a routine procedure when she suddenly lost her shit and started to moan emphatically.

When he asked the woman what was going on, she composed herself and told the good doctor “You’re going to have to teach my husband to do that.”

While attaching the devices to the woman, the doctor discovered that orgasms could be triggered using electrical impulses. Needing no other reasons to design a scientific orgasm machine, Meloy decided to push the idea further.

Scientists have now patented a device that will provide orgasms for women at the push of a button. I supposed they created this device specifically for women because if men could have an orgasm at will, society would pretty much crumble.

The device, which is about the size of a pack of cigarettes, is intended to help women who suffer from orgasmic dysfunction. It works by sending signals directly to the correct nerves in the spinal cord, bypassing all sexual organs and needing no further stimulation.

The operation to install the device is rather intrusive and would require the patient to remain conscious while the doctor locates the correct nerves. For the system to work there must be a signal generator located somewhere on the body, and scientists claim it will be located under the skin of the patient’s buttocks.

I know this is a serious medical procedure but the whole thing sounds kind of arousing.

Meloy explained that while the prospect of triggering orgasms with a remote control sounds like the best idea ever, the procedure is very invasive and should only be considered for the direst of orgasmic dysfunction cases.

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