Sexy-time Injuries

by Alpha Harlot on October 29, 2018

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My wife fell off of the bed when she was fucking me last night. She’s cool. She didn’t hit her head or anything. I went from a prone, “moaning-because-I’m-about-to-orgasm” state of mind to a, “where-the-fuck-did-she-go” state of mind. I was cum drunk for like 5 seconds, which was enough time for my lady to get annoyed with the fact that I wasn’t helping her up off the floor.

I mean, sometimes it’s rough for me to go from orgasm to zero and back into consciousness. I blame her masterful fingers.

She was over being mad at me by the time I came back from the kitchen with some ice for her head. Instead of resuming the sexiness, we started talking about sex injuries and the funny (and not so funny) things that had happened to us while we were in the throws of passion. It helped her forget about the pain and eased my inappropriate laughter

I think my funniest sex injury story involved me trying to shoot an Xtube video while on roller skates. I was straddling the arm of my couch while fucking a pierced dildo…and my labia rings got caught up on the fake dick ring. There was a moment in the unedited footage where you can see my face realize that I’m in some kind of trouble. Roller skates and masturbation don’t mix if there’s no one else in the room to save you when you slip.

I couldn’t pull the dildo out of me because it was massive (like 9 inches long) and my pussy ring didn’t stretch that far. I couldn’t take my ring out without a pair of pliers or something…and then I’m half slipping all over the wood floor of my apartment because of the stupid skates.

AND all of this was before I made the jump from free videos to paid videos…so I was only shooting the clip for the satisfaction of a job well done.

I ended up finishing the video with an orgasm, waiting the appropriate 20 seconds for editing purposes and then I got the skates off one at a time. Once I was no longer nervous about ripping my fucking pussy apart, I was much more calm about the situation and I figured out how to dislodge the dick ring from my labia hole…because that’s where it was stuck. Not on my ring, but straight through the hole.

Fuck that, Peepz.

More common sexual injuries include vaginal tears and fractured penises. I’m honestly curious about how a broken dick feels. That must really suck.

I would love to know about your sex injuries, Peepz. I know that some of you are shy and don’t want to go publicly posting in the comments about this stuff…but my DMs on twitter have been lit up for the past few months with your perverse conversations and questions. Keep filling me up, Peepz. You know I love getting stuffed.

Source: NY Post

Image: Rock n’ Roll Nurse by Brazzers

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