Space Docking: Obscure Sex Act Of The Week

by Dave Carter on July 23, 2010

Post image for Space Docking: Obscure Sex Act Of The Week

{Editor’s Note: We realize this picture has nothing to do with this post. You can either believe that due to the grossness of this act we couldn’t stop gagging long enough to find an appropriate image or that the girl in the picture just had a run in with space docking and is crying into her bed sheets.}

41 years ago this week, Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. Think about that for a second: the fucking moon. The farthest your fat ass has made it in the last week is the Denny’s down the street for a Grand Slam, and this man (with the help of a few billion dollars of technology) made it to the fucking moon. Over the next few years, America proceeded to exert its dominance over the moon, introducing golf and traffic in later missions. But today, space travel is a limp dick compared to what it used to be. The closest to a full moon most of us are going to get is coming to Peeperz for some celeb upskirt shots. But that doesn’t mean we can’t honor Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, two of the manliest men ever to walk the face of two different globes, with this week’s OSA.

Obscure Sexual Act: Space Docking

Urban Dictionary Defines It As: “The act of defecating directly into one’s vagina. Like a space ship attempting to dock to a space station, “space docking” involves very accurate control and near-perfect alignment of the two orifices.”

Creativity: Now, I’m not sure exactly how difficult space docking is in real life, so ask that friend of yours who has all the Star Trek seasons on VHS (he probably frequents this website anyways). But my impression is that it’s pretty difficult. To possess that kind of mastery over one’s own dumps takes nothing short of a God-given gift, or years of intense mathematical study at NASA. VERDICT: 2 girls, ½ a cup

Sexual Appeal: Some suggest that this now well-lubricated vagina is ripe to be plowed. I disagree, but I suppose you could go anal to keep the whole theme going here. VERDICT: 1 girl, ½ a cup

Sheer Disgustingness: I feel like I’m giving out full points for this category too much, but there’s no way pooping in somebody deserves anything less than a perfect grade. Maybe after a few more columns I’ll become jaded and the marks will start to drop: “Peeing in someone’s ear? It’s just tickling, really..” VERDICT: 2 girls, 1 cup

FINAL TALLY: 7 girls/cups! Move over, Zombie Punch, there’s a new sheriff in town.

Did you know NASA also stands for the National Anal Sex Association? It’s a shitty organization all around. There’s always a couple of nuts hanging around and it’s run by a bunch of assholes.

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