Candice Swanepoel

Candice Swanepoel Is Very, Very Pregnant In Lingerie

September 14, 2016
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Candice Swanepoel is dating that dude, you now, that dude who was in all the Transporter movies. Jason Statham. No wait, that’s Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. She’s the one going out with Statham. I always get Candice and Rosie mixed up. I can only keep track of so many blue-eyed blondes. Swanepoel is married/about to be married […]

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Throw Back Thursday Nudity Edition: Candice Swanepoel (2009)

September 3, 2015
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Candice Swanepoel is boring, so, so, boring, but holy shit does she ever have a banging body. I have no idea who took this shoot or for what publication, but I do know it was from six years ago. Six years and Candice is still getting nude for fashion porn, it’s a been a great […]

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Candice Swanepoel Is All Wet & See-Through For Maxim Magazine!

February 26, 2015
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I tried taking my temperature last night, but my digital thermometer was being all wacky. I’m guess it needs a new battery. I really wanted to know if my fever was high enough to warrant the theory that my cold is killing me, so I went on a search through my house for an old […]

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Candice Swanepoel & Martha Hunt Nude For Magazine 25

November 22, 2013
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Candice Swanepoel and Martha Hunt kind of look alike, in that they’re both leggy blonde models kind of way. Like every girl super-douche Adam Levine has dated. I can’t tell who is who anymore. It’s too much flawless skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair. They might as well all be the same person. But they’re […]

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Topless Model Candice Swanepoel Drowning In Gold Glitter

May 21, 2012
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Is it just me or does the name “Swanepoel” sound like the Swedish word for camel toe? Yes, yes, I know she’s not Swedish. Candice is from South Africa, actually, where she was discovered at age 15 by a model scout at the Durban flea market. Modeling has to be the only business in the […]

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Candice Swanepoel Titties Viewable Thanks To Uncle Terry

April 17, 2012
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Hipster trash Terry “Uncle-Badtouch” Richardson is a hacky talentless sack of cocaine shits (you ever get those runny blow dumps, you know what I mean) with one redeeming feature, which is: he convinces celebs to flash their flesh in his pervy photo spreads. But look he did this kinda great (don’t tell him I said […]

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Candice Swanepoel Gets Out The Titties

March 15, 2012
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Candice Swanepoel is the famous South African model passing out boners in Victoria’s Secret catalogs and on the covers of those fake porn mags Maxim and FHM and all that “ladmag” shit. You know this chick, she’s the pin-up on the college boy’s dorm wall, that is, on the wall of the wuss college dude […]

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