Funny or Die

Kevin Bacon Gets Caught In Bed

May 10, 2018
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Have you ever been caught having sex? I feel like we all have at one point or another. In pornos it turns into a group sex scenario (or cuckholding, if that happens to be the genre they’re shooting in). In real life it can turn into a super awkward situation. One of my kinks used […]

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Villain Attraction Disorder – It’s Real & No Laughing Matter

December 2, 2014
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Villains are more attractive than heroes. Loki. Right there, that’s the whole argument, but since I can’t really publish a post consisting of seven words, I’ll add a few. Loki is way more attractive than Thor. Have you watched any of the interviews? Premiers? Comic cons? Loki, a.k.a. Tom Hiddelston, a.k.a. the hottest man alive, […]

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Rebecca Romijn Introduces The Hand Bra

October 9, 2013
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I’ve been using the Hand Bra for years, if only I had thought about copywriting the damn thing I could be making a fortune right now. Of course, I don’t quite have the selling power of model-actress Rebecca Romijn, formerly known has Rebecca Romjin Stamos. Or, you know, if you find her name too hard […]

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Handjob Gloves Are The New “It” Sex Toy

July 25, 2012
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It’s never too soon to start making plans for Valentine’s Day. Okay, it might be a little too early to start thinking about it, but when you strike gold it doesn’t matter what time of year it is. HJ gloves (aka Handjob gloves) is the classic gift that keeps on giving… over and over again. […]

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When Dirty Talk Goes Horribly Horribly Wrong

July 10, 2012
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Talking dirty is a skill just like any other. Some people get the hang of it quicker than others, but with a little practice anyone can be a champion. You just have to get over your inhibitions first, easy as eating pie. I wasn’t always the sex champ I am today, there was a time […]

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The Legend Of Don Holmes: The Smallest Cock In Porn

July 5, 2012
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You may remember Don Holmes, the porn legend, from such porno classics as Donan The Barbarian, Baby Beaver, and The Little Cock That Could. That’s right pervy ladies and gents, Don’s claim to fame is having the smallest cock in porn. Not to be confused with pornstar John Holmes who rose to fame in the ’70s […]

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Charlize Theron Hacked Kinky Sex Tape

April 2, 2012
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CHARLIZE THERON LEAKED KINKY SEX TAPE! Okay not really, though shot on cellphone and looking pretty convincing…if you can believe she’s into fucked up shit…which I CAN believe because that’s what Hollywood actresses are really into, all sorts of fucked up stuff, some of which I’ve heard about but can’t write on as I would […]

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Eva Mendes’ Sex Tape

March 15, 2012
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Eva Mendes is so goddamn hot, she makes me question my straight-ish sexual orientation all over again. She sizzles in every movie she’s ever been in, but did you ever watch The Spirit? A shitty movie that could have been awesome, but you get to see Eva Mendes’ perfect ass. See what I mean? Fuck, […]

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