hot

Women sucking on fingers, their own or other people’s, is super fucking hot! A psych grad should really try to investigate why finger sucking is such a turn on. I’m sure it would make for an interesting thesis. You know, something or other about the id and the ego. Throw an oral fixation in there and we’re all set.

I’ve read that this whole finger sucking thing is meant to foreshadow downstairs business, but that seems too obvious of an explanation for me. I need something deeper… with more meaning… with more flavor. Yup, flavor. If a lady sucks on a finger after it’s been inside of her, you know, to get a little taste, we’re talking serious business here. I’m going to jizz in my pants just thinking about it kind of serious business.

Consider this, there’s also the fact that it just fucking feels good. The first time I sucked on a dude’s finger it’s because he was tracing my lips with the tip of his index. Sucking on it just seemed like the thing to do at the time. I was not wrong. Hello, boner city!

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Who knew? Did you know? I didn’t know that Britney Spears is a smoking hot MILF?! I still remember when Britney Spears appeared on the scene. People were crazy about her. Obviously, I was much too jaded and sophisticated to like anything so popular. I was probably still busy mourning the death of Kurt Kobain.

JK, I never liked Kurt Kobain. JK, he was alright I guess.

That said, I always thought the video for “I’m a Slave 4 U” was super freaking hot. Like, I’m gonna fap to this hot. Haha, I just watched it again on Youtube and it. did. not. age. well. The early 2000s had the worst fashion.

So bad.

Those pants, I want to invent a time machine so I can go back in the past and burn them to the ground.

Mostly, I’m just surprised that Britney Spears has endured. After temporarily losing custody to her kids to Kevin Federline (of all people) and shaving her head, I never thought she would recover.

She went nuts for a good reason. The freaking paparazzi wouldn’t leave her alone because people LOVE HER. That’s why she was able to make a comeback after that whole mess. People can’t get enough of the sweet dulcet tones of Britney Spears.

Also, she still looks freaking hot in a sports bra. It’s no wonder she looks so good, from what I hear Britney cut out the middle man and decided to date a personal trainer. We should all be so lucky.

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To be fair, Kissa Sins looks hot no matter what color her hair is, but if I’m going to randomly make my opinion known I’ve gotta say, I really love the brown hair. Now, if only I could somehow make her take more candid pictures and less I’m-doing-an-extreme-angle-with-pouty-lips-pose I could die happy.

Sure, she probably doesn’t people telling her what to do or how to take pictures, but if I’m going to be an asshole about it, I’m gonna go full asshole and tell her to smile more too.

Jesus, it must be hard being in the public eye and having to put up with fans who want to mould you to their specific expectations.

DON’T LISTEN TO ANY OF US KISSA. YOU DO YOU.

But while you’re  doing you, can you bring back the pink hair? Because in all honesty that one was my favorite.

So cute.

I think I’m going to dye my hair lavender.

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I’m still a little weirded out by the fact that the first time I saw Alexandra Daddario she was playing the daughter of Olympian God Athena in Percy Jackson and the Something or Other. That was a kids movie. I know this, because I watched it while babysitting my buddy’s kids.

These days, though, when I look at pictures of Alexandra Daddario I’m like:

You never know. I mean, you gotta hope for the best.

You know, once I get over the whole kids movie thing.

I recommend never watching you’re Daddario’s early work. It’s just going to be disturbing and the last thing you want it to feel disturbed when looking at this photoshoot of Alexandra for GQ. It’s just so boobalicious. It’s hard to take your eyes away.

If you must take your eyes away,  you might as well take a moment and look at this Baywatch trailer:

I haven’t been impressed with the Baywatch pics that were leaked to the press while the movie was filming, but I have to admit the trailer is actually kind of funny. “Font bump” is my new favorite thing to say and it’s got me wondering just how much heat the Rock is packing.

As for Zac Efron, who the hell attacked him with the spray tan?

Everyone else looks flawless. And by everyone else I mean Alexandra Daddario.
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It’s fucking freezing in my house right now. I’ve cranked up the heat, put on my least sexy plush pajamas and slippers and I’m still cold to my core. Can’t it be spring already? I miss feeling the breeze on my nipples while I cum on my balcony…and sneaking my hand down my wife’s pants while we’re having picnics in the park.

Let’s fantasize about picnic sex together, Peepz. A bit of mutual maturbation would do us all some good. You ready? Grab your favorite gingham table cloth for easy clean up and let’s get fapping!

This first clip is exactly what I’m talking about. I miss the grass in my toes and the sun in the sky…and a few fingers stretching out my pussy hole to make room for some cock. Gina Gerson is sweet and innocent but her desires are much more perverse.

Cutting straight to the chase, the sexy brunette in this clip leaves zero to the imagination as she takes on two cocks at once. The picnic blanket is all set up for a feast, but ends up being covered in sticky, thick cum.

CLICK HERE TO KEEP FAPPING ALONG WITH HARLOT

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Holy crap, Hustler had it going on in the ’90s. I don’t know much about this model, except for the fact that she went under the name Charisse and that she had a banging bod, but I can tell you without a doubt that I would have masturbated to pic number three (see photo gallery) had I seen it back when I used to steal my brother’s dirty mags.

These days I don’t really fap it to still images, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like looking at them to get the motor nice and warm and ready to go.

There are three things I want you to take note of when looking at this photoshoot. First off, what the hell is up with the copy on the first picture?

hustler-charisse-1990-copy

What is a hot-slot? And since when are dudes emergency showers? Fluid relief, really? Jesus, I know people were probably too busy looking at the pictures to read the text, but they could have made a little effort.

Second, what the holy hell is up with the tomatoes in pic number two? Look closely, I’ll wait. Yup, that is a couple of tomatoes cut in half on either side of Charisse. Who just cuts a couple of tomatoes in half? And then takes a shower with said tomatoes? Weird.

I’d like to met the person who was in charge of props that day.

Third, you just don’t see quality bush like that anymore. Clearly, Charisse had her bikini line waxed, but other than that she keep the whole thing pretty full. That is a look that has started resurfacing over the last couple of years, but what we hardly ever see is the happy trail to the butthole. Looking at it now feels almost illicit.

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Tallulah Willis is painfully cool. She’s part of that generation of celebrity kids that are famous for being famous. For some reason all you need these days to be a celebrity is to be the daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, oh, and to post pics of your boobs on the Internet with semi-regular frequency.

One must not forget the boobie pics. Those are key to one’s level of fame in this Instagram age.

Bruce and Demi’s youngest daughter goes beyond your typical “free the nipple” Instagram photoshoot here and goes in for some staged masturbation in an bathroom. It’s kind of hot.

There’s her flaming orange hair. The color looks really good on her. I also dig the curls. That lipstick shade is to die for. I don’t mean me. I wouldn’t die for it, but if someone else died for it I might turn a blind eye. Those two color juxtaposed with the yellow tile of the bathroom cubicle really make everything pop, especially those over-sized white panties.

I dig the panties, because they look like men’s tighty whities, which comes across as kind of transgressive. And, of course, there’s the nice full breasts, the pierced nipple, and the hand down the underwear. Yup, it ALL works for me. All of it.

You can find these pics and more in Tyler Shields new photography art book titled Provocateur.

I don’t necessarily find these pictures provocative, but then again I’m not easily shocked. I’ve been reading the comments (never read the comments! Except Peeperz comments, because Peeperz is a safe place) and lots of people are being really freaking critical about these pictures.

Personally, I don’t get it. I think they are beautiful. Meanwhile, other people look at what I find beautiful and they can only spew hateful comments. One dude even managed to draw a parallel to Trump:

“And they criticised Donald Trump for locker room talk yet it’s ok for women to pose for filthy photos then complain when men make rude comments!!

Anyway, she looks like a man in drag.” [sic]

Really, dude? Really? You have to be such miserable fuck and a hateful douche to look at some arty nudes and somehow turn that into a Trump pseudo-defense. “Oh well, gee, you can’t really blame a guy for making comments about assaulting women when there’s all these naked women around.” IT MAKES ALL THE SENSE.

Oh God, I hate Trump so much. I’d rather loose some readers than have fans that are going to vote for him.

In summation, love boobies, hate Trump.

Now good day. I said GOOD DAY, sir!

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Born in Venezuela, Veronica Rodriguez went to Catholic school (thanks for that image), you know, the kind where they separate the girls from the boys, because sex is evil, which is funny considering how many catholic school girls go on to experiment sexually with other girls. And that’s exactly what happened. Veronica’s first kiss was with a girl, BECAUSE RELIGION.

When she was still a young lass, VRod’s parents split up and her Mom ended up marrying an American. The new happy family moved to Chicago, but the weather was way too cold for Veronica so they moved to Miami where everyone’s favorite Latina pornstar was allowed to attend public school, which is where she was able to develop her wild side.

Basically, if I understand correctly, anti-porn Catholics should really look at their school system the next time they are pointing the finger, because Veronica wouldn’t have become a pornstar is she hadn’t attended a repressive Catholic school where sex was the big bad. That’s what you Peepz understood, right? Catholic schools are repressive, encourage lesbianism, and make people turn to porn. Right. Definitely.

Or is it free-for-all public schools that are to blame?

20.

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Candice Swanepoel is dating that dude, you now, that dude who was in all the Transporter movies. Jason Statham. No wait, that’s Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. She’s the one going out with Statham. I always get Candice and Rosie mixed up. I can only keep track of so many blue-eyed blondes.

Swanepoel is married/about to be married to fellow model Hermann Nicoli and she is currently pregnant with their first child.

models-making-models

Models making future models. 

I just came across this picture of Candice and her parasite baby bump on her Instagram account. It’s quite striking.

candice-swanepeoel

Damn!

I can understand why some people get turned on by prego porn. The baby bump is like “meh,” but everything else is so luscious and ripe.

Seriously, if you’re a fan of pretty pregnant blondes you should really follow Candice Swanepoel’s Insta account. It’s a treasure trove of goodies just like this one.

‘Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.. ‘💫🐣🌞

A photo posted by Candice Swanepoel (@angelcandices) on

Okay, so I just realized something. A baby bump is basically one big boob. There’s the obvious shape, so similar to the slope and roundness of a boob and then there’s the bellybutton that pops right out after being stretched like that, which looks just like a nipple.

How could I have been so blind for so long?! This explains everything. I can see now why people are obsessed with pregnant ladies. It’s all about boobs. Boobs that swell up to produce milk, bellies that swell up to look like giant boobs. Boobs, boobs, boobs.

Did everyone already know this and I just finally (slowly) caught on?

Via drunkenstepfather.com – Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd

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Coffee and orgasms are basically my life-blood. I have a very hard time surviving through my day without having either in plentiful amounts.

While I don’t NEED a dick to make my orgasms happen, sometimes they’re nice to have around.

And dicks in my coffee?

That’s my new favorite thing.

There’s an instagram account called Dick Latte that makes my morning while I’m scrolling through my feed on my commute to work.

My favorites always tend to include hairy balls. Like this one!

The coffee genius who runs the dicklatte instagram account is a bit of a mystery but I’m OK with that. I don’t always need to know where my dick jokes are coming from, as long as they’re frothy and funny.

The thirty-something from Los Angeles bought an espresso machine because coffee is expensive when you’re buying it out all the time. A few trips to youtube to watch some latte art videos and the dicklatte was accidentally born!

Fancy coffee really isn’t my bag. We’ve got a 10-cupper in my apartment that I’m fairly happy with. I’d change my mind in an instant if I had the chance to put peen in my cuppa every morning.

I think it might be time for me to pull out my grandma’s milk pitchers and have a go at some pervy milk art.

While I’m working out the kinks and figuring out how to make my dicks look less like blobs of jizz, check out this PornHub clip of the always sex Aletta Ocean sucking dick and getting banged in a coffee shop.

Check out the dicklatte instagram to find out what I’ve been laughing about for the past month! You’ll love it, I swear.

Source: buzzfeed and dicklatte instagram

Image: Victoria Summers in Ass-isting the Barista by Brazzers

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