japan

When you talk about sex dolls, the first image that comes to most people’s minds is the blonde inflatable “novelty toy.” Throughout my childhood I saw these dolls in every college party movie and I never understood what the point was. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I found out you were supposed to fuck them.

It really sounds like an impractical way of masturbating.

Never mind the fact there’s an entire subculture of people who are sexually attracted to inflatable toys. The average looner would love nothing more than a pool floaty with a designated penis hole. For everyone else, however, fucking a plastic bubble filled with your own breath is simply uncivilized.

The modern sex doll is a modern engineering marvel. Most of them consist of a durable metal frame encased in rubbers that simulate the cold, rubbery lifelessness of fucking a fresh corpse. The only thing more impressive than these flesh colored cock wallets are the people who actually own them.

With the average doll costing several thousand dollars, a sex doll isn’t the kind of toy you fuck once and then hide under your bed never to be cleaned again. Owning these things is a lifestyle and according to a New York Post article- fucking a sex doll can be part of a balanced emotional relationship.

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The only people who ever come to my door are Jehovah’s Witnesses and ex-convicts trying to sell me magazine subscriptions. I can order pizza and the UPS man occasionally brings me books and computer parts from Amazon, but I can’t get the kind of home delivery service available in other big cities.

In Tokyo, for example, you can hire “Makkusu Bodi” to deliver heavy set hookers right to your front door. At least you could before police busted up the home-delivery BBW prostitution ring.

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One of my favorite episodes of the Twilight Zone is “Nick of Time.”

It’s about a man who becomes obsessed with the messages dispensed by a fortune telling machine and how he allows these predictions to take over his life. It’s one of the greatest episodes of the series because of how easy it is to identify with someone who is overly superstitious, and who offloads the responsibility of making his own life decisions.

The episode is especially poignant for me. When I quit my previous profession as a high school math teacher, I used a small electronic version of a magic 8ball to plan my next career path. 6 years later my life turned out exactly you would expect. Hmph!

Things could have been worse, I suppose. Take one woman from Japan who put so much trust in her fortune teller that she allowed the woman to manipulate her into becoming a prostitute. Leave it to a psychic to see that kind of potential in someone.

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Okay, I’m gonna admit it. The trailer for Ghost In The Shell looks pretty amazing and Scarlett Johansson looks kickass. Sure, the whitewashing hella bothers me. I mean if you’re going to change the race of the main character why not change the setting as well? Clearly, it’s set in Japan circa 2029 and unless there’s a third world war where all the white people invade Japan it’s all a little misleading.

Okay, now that the trailer high has ebbed a little, all I can see it the whitewashing. The only Japenese people in the movie are extras.

Also, what the hell is up with ScarJo’s costume? Is she naked? Is that a beige onesie? What is happening with that outfit? I need an answer and I want it now, dammit!

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Seriously, what is that? Too bad Scarlett Johansson can’t spend the whole movie naked on an operating slab. I could watch that for a couple hours without complaint. Sure, it would probably drag on after a while, but I’ve been known to find entertainment watching paint dry.*

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It’s been a while since I’ve seen the original animated Ghost in the Shell and I never read the mangas, so the story is a little foggy in my head, so I can’t tell you how faithfull it is to the original, you know, besides the whole changing the race of the main character, WHICH IS A BIG DEAL, but this is android ScarJo boobies, so it was my duty as a fellow perv to post this trailer.

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A little sexual suggestion can go a long way in advertising, and a lot of it can make your snake cake look like a bunch vaginas stuck together. This is the over-the-top mentality used by Japan’s biggest convenience store chain, Family Mart.

To help celebrate the blooming of the cherry blossoms, the store collaborated with a well-known virtual entertainer to release “Sakura no Ame” or “Cherry Blossom Rain,” a strawberry cream filled pastry based on a popular song. Apparently this song is about five disembodied vaginas and blushing anime girls.

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When Japanese porn star Uta Kohaku set out to make a sequel to “Semen Collection”, one of her most well-known works, she realized she had a bit of a logistical problem. After taking an inventory of the resources on hand, Uta realized she didn’t have nearly enough semen for the film to work. What’s a hot girl who posts a lot of naked pictures on the internet to do? Politely ask for man goo donations via twitter, of course!

She posted the request and within two weeks she had a plethora of cum at her disposal. The containers were delivered to the production company labeled with the donor’s name, because when you’re dealing with dozens of bottle of jizz organization is everything. Upon achieving the desired reserves of spunk the 20 year old porn star tweeted “The Semen from my fans! Awesome! I will care for them as if it were my own child.” That last part is actually kind of gross.

Far be it for me to judge anyone involved with this. If any of my favorite porn stars needed a particular amount of my bodily fluids to help advance a shoot, I would be headed to the post office with Dr. Pepper bottle within the hour. I am, however, totally concerned about the health and safety of Uta on this one. However, being a totally skeptical pornography man I’m more than certain this was just a publicity stunt to get attention for what would otherwise be another cum fetish film.

As a relatively untraveled and prudish American, the idea of a Japanese sex festival brings a lot of interesting images to mind. While the people of Japan are known for being sexually reserved if not repressed, they also aren’t shy and are responsible for some of the internet’s most bizarre porn including the world’s most advanced VR sex projects.

While the west is still trying to figure out how exactly virtual reality is going to revolutionize the computing world, Japan is on the verge of creating a full-fledged virtual porn industry. Interest in the concept is so great that when Tokyo put on a festival for virtual reality porn technologies, the event had to be closed early because attendance was higher than expected.

The Adult VR Fest 01 in Tokyo’s Akihabara region was the first event of its kind devoted entirely to VR porn and other adult technologies. However when organizers saw crowds pouring into the streets and disrupting the area, they decided to close the event for safety reasons. Hmm!

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China and Japan have been arguing over the Senkaku Islands for years, a group of uninhabited islands in the East China Sea, but controlled by Japan. China, where the islands are known as the Diaoyu, feels that the islands are part of their territory seeing as they sit in Chinese waters, and were under Chinese control over 100 years ago. Japan completely ignored these claims resulting in an onslaught of anti-Japan protests from citizens of China, and a series of hostile actions from both nations.

Sound complicated? It sure does. Not a lot of people outside of a handful of historians understand the basis of each nation’s claim to the islands and most people on both sides are just getting worked up due to national pride. Distraught over the bickering between two noble nations, one woman decided to use her international star power to calm things down.

And that woman was Japanese porn star Sola Aoi.

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Chinese live-streaming services have banned people filming themselves eating bananas in a “seductive” fashion.

New regulations mean that live-streaming sites must monitor all their output round-the-clock to ensure nothing untoward is going on, keeping an eye out for any “erotic” banana-eating, according to New Express Daily. It’s not just fruit that’s on their radar though – the paper adds that wearing stockings and suspenders while hosting a live stream is now also forbidden.

Banana-Eating

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Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

Movie nights around my house generally start with the same basic discussion – or perhaps “negotiation” would be the better word for it.

My husband and I actually have a fair amount in common when it comes to movie genres; we both love dumb slapstick comedies, low budget sci-fi, old monster movies and basically anything in which Kevin Spacey plays a sociopathic creep.

At the same time, individually there are certain areas each of us enjoy which make the other want to break things and/or vomit.

For instance, my husband loves sports-related documentaries, whereas if I hear the theme music from ESPN’s “30 For 30” series even one more time, I’m going to set fire to the living room after knocking him unconscious with my heftiest cast iron skillet (and yes, I do own more than one cast iron skillet; you can never have too many of those things).

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