jizz

Is Keto Crotch a Thing?

March 12, 2019
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What you put into your body makes a difference as to what comes out of your body. That old wives tale about eating pineapple to make your spunk sweeter is absolutely founded in truth. If you eat lots of sugary goodness, your cum will change it’s taste. I can go on for hours about the […]

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Don’t Feed Your Jizz to Your Boss

August 20, 2018
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I’m down for cum eating. As long as you don’t eat a diet of straight up asparagus and black coffee, I’m probably down to take a taste of what happens to be dripping out of your dick. My only rule is that you tell me when you’re about to blow because I like a little […]

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Fap Along with Harlot: Creamy Buttholes

February 24, 2018
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I went camping with my family last weekend. Camping is a stretch, actually, but I refuse to call the experience, “Glamping,” because I think that sounds dumb. We were in the woods, in a cabin, with heat, running water and plenty of posh luxuries. It was fancy. We played a few rounds of Cards Against […]

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Fap Along With Harlot: Tasting Cumshots

July 23, 2016
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Sometimes I miss sloppy cumshots. Luckily, PornHub has a massive selection of videos for my masturbatory perusal that happen to fit the bill. It’s the taste I think I might miss the most. I can get as dirty as I want with my girl, but there’s no way to replicate the tangy taste of some […]

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Squirting Strangers With Semen Isn’t Awesome

March 1, 2016
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I just got back from a week of house sitting, which was topped off with a visit to my sister’s place in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. I had to stop to grab a bag of chips and some dip before I went over there, so I called her up and asked where the closest grocery store was. […]

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Fap Along With Harlot: Cock Rings Forever

January 31, 2016
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I got engaged last weekend. There was sushi involved and lots of making out in public. Life is fairly awesome and my ring is a sparkly sapphire. I’m completely psyched and I can’t stop looking at my finger, which may or may not be better than masturbating with my fingers all the time. You be […]

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Masque: Conceal The Taste Of Semen For Better Blow Jobs?!

March 5, 2014
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I don’t get it, but apparently there are some chicks out there that dislike giving good ol’ BJs because they hate the taste of sperm. Weird, I know. But to each their own. I guess there’s no accounting for taste. Even weirder, there are some dudes who don’t like the taste of pussy. Dang, that’s […]

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Better Tasting Sperm: Pineapple Or Celery?

March 3, 2014
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Goddamn, thank God for the sex writers out there who are willing to use their boyfriends as guinea pigs. How else would we ever be graced with the results of a sperm taste test?! Science just hasn’t caught up yet and there are things we need to know: does pineapple really make your spunk taste […]

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Cum Scented Lube?

September 9, 2013
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I have this fantasy where I’m kneeling on all fours and someone (whoever I’m digging at the moment) is kneeling behind me with his cock in hand. He’s jerking off and rubbing the tip of his dick all over my pussy while leaning over me. When this mystery man cum, his jizz drips all over […]

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Sperm Lives For A Really Really Really Long Time, Really

September 4, 2013
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Sperm lives for a really really really long time. I mean, really. I’m not kidding around here. Whatever you may have learned in bio class about the the rhythm method is COMPLETELY WRONG. Sure, a lady’s egg is only fertile for a couple days a month, but shoot a load up there a week beforehand […]

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