news

Jailed Woman Caught With WHAT In Her Vagina?

March 24, 2019
Thumbnail image for Jailed Woman Caught With WHAT In Her Vagina?

As anyone who deals drugs in prison can tell you, the human body is not particularly equipped for hiding things. That super diluted hit of heroin you just paid god knows what for in jail? At some point it spent time in somebody’s ass. The high price for an inferior product comes from the insane risk […]

Read the full article →

Jesus Digs Pornstars?

March 23, 2019
Thumbnail image for Jesus Digs Pornstars?

Whether you’re an atheist or a believer, there is one thing we can all agree on – shut the fuck up, we’re here for porn. There’s a time and a place to debate the existence of god, and there are people on both sides of the argument who don’t understand that. However, the people at […]

Read the full article →

Teacher Tries To Blow Her Way Out Of A DUI!

March 22, 2019
Thumbnail image for Teacher Tries To Blow Her Way Out Of A DUI!

It’s almost impossible to be fired as a teacher. This is hilarious because people who spend ten hours a day around minors, suppressing every urge to smash them in the face with a textbook tend to party pretty hard when school is not in session. They don’t mess around when it comes to enjoying every […]

Read the full article →

City Wastes Tax Payer Money Fighting Strip Club!

March 21, 2019
Thumbnail image for City Wastes Tax Payer Money Fighting Strip Club!

Like most things prudes find immoral, strip clubs are good for the economy. Successful businesses generate tax revenue and activity for local suppliers and contractors; and few things are more successful in this economy than naked women and cheap drinks. This is probably what Alva Butler figured when he applied for a sexual oriented business […]

Read the full article →

Chinese Hospital Adds Kinky Sex Ward To Treat Infertility!

March 20, 2019
Thumbnail image for Chinese Hospital Adds Kinky Sex Ward To Treat Infertility!

One of the often ignored functions of sex around here is its use in the baby making process. This is one of nature’s most beautiful yet horrifying processes and while some people do whatever is necessary to prevent it from happening, there are those who actively try but are unable to conceive a child. Dealing […]

Read the full article →

Porno In The Background Of Your News?

March 19, 2019
Thumbnail image for Porno In The Background Of Your News?

The news can be really boring and to distract people from this fact they often have a lot of really important looking things going on in the background. It could be interns furiously typing at computers, or a bunch of well-dressed people power walking through the set holding stacks of paper. This might convince you […]

Read the full article →

Smokers Prefer Cigarettes Over Sex?

March 18, 2019
Thumbnail image for Smokers Prefer Cigarettes Over Sex?

The only times I ever smoke a cigarette are when I’m really drunk, or only kind of drunk but I’m trying to impress a girl that does. In either case I spend the following three days coughing and cursing the bastard that offered me that vile tube of flammable poison. Never once have I felt […]

Read the full article →

Spanish MILFs Get Naked To Raise Money For School Bus

March 17, 2019
Thumbnail image for Spanish MILFs Get Naked To Raise Money For School Bus

A school district in Eastern Spain cut bus funding when a law was passed that changed the requirement for free transportation. This resulted in numerous children having to travel nearly four and a half kilometres over a mountain on foot. In an effort to raise money for a bus to pick up their children and also bust […]

Read the full article →

New York Man Sues Over Drunken $28k Strip Club Tab

March 16, 2019
Thumbnail image for New York Man Sues Over Drunken $28k Strip Club Tab

My body is like a temple; however it is a temple that somebody used to store illegal booze during prohibition. I manage to maintain such a lifestyle I eat properly and get lots of sleep. While I am likely in better cardiovascular health than the average American, I’m still as fat as one because I get […]

Read the full article →

Porn Pushes Everything Else Out Of Your Brain – Science!

March 15, 2019
Thumbnail image for Porn Pushes Everything Else Out Of Your Brain – Science!

Having solved all other problems in the world, scientists set out to see how processing porn influences one’s working memory. This is essentially your short term memory, or the part of your brain used for critical thinking, decision making, reasoning, and understanding. It’s like your brain’s RAM, and as it would turn out, filling it […]

Read the full article →