Top Five

Fap Along With Harlot: Exploding into 2018

January 6, 2018
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There’s a bit of a timewarp between when I write my posts and when they actually go live…but right now it is New Year’s Day in Jersey. Last night, my wife and I caught up on the episodes of Black Mirror that we had missed so that we could start watching the new season today. […]

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Fap Along with Harlot: Beautiful Butts in Denim Shorts

December 2, 2017
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I love a good butt. What makes butts even better? Bootie shorts…bootie shorts make everything better. Denim shorts give me a lady boner like nobody’s business. It’s that, “Girl Next Door,” mystique mixed with, “Dirty Country Girl,” type of a vibe. I put together a list of PornHub clips involving jean shorts for us to […]

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Fap Along With Harlot: Pay Attention to the Balls

September 23, 2017
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Hellooooo Peepz! This weekend I was supposed to meet up with a fellow that my wife is friends with. He’s a nice guy and we’ve spoken a few times, the thing I can’t get over is how much he reminds me of my Bad Ex From Texas. It’s in his mannerisms and the way he […]

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Fap Along With Harlot: I Need Some Pool Sex

May 7, 2016
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Is it summer yet? Jersey is getting warmer by the day and all I’m thinking about is being able to hang out by the pool all weekend. Unfortunately, I have to wait until the end of May for out condo association to uncover the damn thing, but that’s OK. A bathtub filled with lukewarm water […]

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Top 5: St. Patrick’s Day Porn!

March 15, 2013
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St. Patrick’s Day commemorates when Saint Patrick blessed the people of Ireland with the miracle of green beer, and every day on the anniversary of this important date everybody is Irish for 24 hours of drinking, fucking, and fighting. Unlike many other holidays that have at least some level of religion or family commitment lingering in the background, this one’s […]

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Top 5: Halloween Porn From The Pornhub Network!

October 31, 2012
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Midweek Wednesday Halloween! Which means you probably did all your Halloween partying last weekend – so stay in this evening, curl up with your computer and that candy you were going to waste on trick-or-treating kids, and have yourself a Halloween movie marathon…of Halloween themed porno from the Pornhub Network! It’s my plan for this All Hallow’s […]

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Top 5: 90’s Porn Videos

March 22, 2011
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Scrunchies, Nintendo, New kids On The Block and Neon Oreos…. the 90’s were a fruitful era that didn’t stop at porn. Prepare to delve in the world of bad floral bedspreads, big hair and big titties with my list of the top 5 90’s porn videos! 5. Maybe girls in 90’s porn all have real […]

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Top 5 Ways To Improve Your Spunk’s Flavor

October 6, 2010
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There is nothing worse when she doesn’t swallow. The orgasm is still ongoing and you need her to keep paying attention to your pole, not stop to spit your manjuice out like a pitcher spitting out chewing tobacco. Plus what a rejection, that’s a little bit of you and your love that she’s coughing up […]

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Keep It Up Naturally – Top 5 Natural Boner Assists

October 5, 2010
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If you’re anything like me, you probably love drinking and fucking. The problem I get with this wonderful combination is that all the cheap whiskey I drink makes my dick sleepy. Sometimes we all need an assist to keep the little guy going. Maybe we drank too much or we’re tired or some cock crazed […]

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5 TV Hotties We Want To See In Porn

July 13, 2010
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One of the side-effects of working for a porn site is that we literally see porn everywhere – even when just sitting on the couch watching TV. So we did what any porn enthusiast would do – we made a list of pornos we want to see our 5 favorite TV babes make. 1 – […]

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