vibrator

Casino Evacuated After Vibrating Cock Ring Mistaken For Bomb

August 16, 2018
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Terrorism has existed in one form or another throughout most of human history. A person of unsound mental health will commit a horrendous act of violence against other people to spread fear and sadness because of some twisted agenda. It’s bullshit. The most recent terrorist attacks are being heavily discussed on the news, and the […]

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Sex Toy Triggers Airport Security, Shuts Down Terminal

August 14, 2018
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Airport security has gotten really intense over the last few years. The last time I flew I was coming home from a very successful vacation and in a hungover stupor I forgot to take my tablet out of my backpack before going through screening. As a reward for my seemingly minor rule infraction I spent […]

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Is Electric Slide Really About a Vibrator?

July 8, 2018
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One more thing from my childhood is potentially “ruined” forever and ever, Peepz. I use the words “my” and “ruined” very loosely though…as I could give a shit about this particular song and nothing that has been made perverse is ever truly ruined. That’s the truth in a lot of cases anyway. An Internet rumor […]

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Jeweler Creates Diamond Encrusted Vibrator Fit For A Queen

June 13, 2018
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While watching the royal wedding last month I was absolutely blown away by the tiara worn by Meghan Markle. Being a piece from the Queen’s jewels, Mary’s Bandeau Tiara is obviously of exquisite quality and historical significance. I was so fascinated with the diamond encrusted crown that I read about some of the other crowned […]

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Used Sex Toys? Not In My Vagina

April 1, 2018
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I used to have a bad habit of not keeping my sex toys as clean as they should be. When I was living by myself, I’d wake up in the middle of the night, jerk off with a vibrator till I was tired, let the toy roll out of my hand onto the floor and […]

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Preparing for the Mile High Club in the Airport

March 14, 2018
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I don’t get anxiety when I fly, but I totally freak out when I’m getting from wherever I am to the airport. There was a stretch of time that I was traveling a lot, because of long distance relationships and shit. Every time I tried getting through security, I ended up getting pulled into a […]

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A Chilly Fantasy

January 2, 2018
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Crisp air makes me feel daring. I’m not one for the cold. I prefer fires and hot tubs to cold toes and frozen bits. Ever since my wife fucked me in the bitter air though, I can’t help but get the thought out of my mind. I’ve never been skiing before…so maybe we’re all bundled […]

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Survey Says: Left Handed People Have Better Sex

October 21, 2017
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I’ve read a lot of sex studies and surveys that make some pretty bold claims. While they’re usually part of a sophisticated academic study they can also be simple surveys by a company trying to promote a product. For example, a company that makes “intimate lifestyle products” called LELO conducted an online survey of 10,000 […]

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A Rousing Game of “Let’s Find the Penis”

August 6, 2017
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Day trips during the summer are my absolute favorite. On the weekends, I try as hard as I can to never sit still. Subscribing to the P. Diddy philosophy of, “You can sleep when you’re dead,” is totally the way to spend the sunshine months. A few weeks ago, the Philadelphia Zoo had a summer […]

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Drunk Florida Chick Applies For Job At Adult Store, Steals Sex Toy

May 21, 2017
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There are a few pieces of job hunting advice that you would think go without saying. You shouldn’t have to tell someone not to drunkenly stumble into an adult store and steal something before asking about employment- unless you’re from Florida. You have to be really explicit down there. A 23-year-old woman from Tampa verified […]

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