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Villagers Find Sex Toy In Forest, Assume It Is A Mystery Mushroom

September 19, 2017
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Earlier this month a Chinese news program ran a story about a mysterious plant that was discovered while digging a well. Biologists around the world were glued to their televisions; eager to catch a glimpse at was being described as a “mystery mushroom.” They then proceeded to laugh their asses off. The mushroom in question […]

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Agent Provocateur Has A New Sexy Video Ad About Clichés?

September 11, 2017
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I feel like I haven’t seen a sexy Agent Provocateur ad in ages. Did they stop making them? Did I stop paying attention? Who knows. These things just appear. Usually, I watch AP vids for the sexy lingerie, but this time around I actually found myself analyzing the content of the video. I need a […]

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Fap Along With Harlot: I Cunt Hear You

September 9, 2017
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I listen to audiobooks all day while I’m at work. My wife thinks it’s hilarious because I work in a library, so I’m surrounded by books, working with books, and piping books into my brain all at the same time. I really like getting focused on the task at hand and zone out on the […]

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Hump Day, GIF Day: Mia Khalifa Gets You Through The Week

August 23, 2017
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Oh man, did you Peepz know that Mia Khalifa was only in porn for three months?! I find that surprising, especially since she’s rated as the second most popular pornstar on Pornhub. I mean, Mia’s porn stint dates back to 2014 and she’s still number two?! Wow. For a while there, Mia was actually number […]

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Ask A Porn Star: “How Far Did You Get In School?”

August 17, 2017
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The idea that porn stars are an uneducated lot is one of the most pervasive stereotypes that people in the porn industry still have to face today. I mean, the words “blonde bimbo” roll off the tongue for a reason and not just because they both start with the letter “b.” A lot of people […]

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Man Runs Multi-Million Dollar Porn Business From Jail!

August 12, 2017
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When Francis Sharrak was convicted of tax fraud and sentenced to jail, he knew there was only one thing he could do to prove his innocence – start a successful porn business. Equipped with a laptop and a telephone, he managed to run his business for several months before he was busted. It all started […]

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Sex News: Penis Tape, Annika Albrite Video, & Indie Short “Hole”

August 11, 2017
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Guys don’t tape your penis shut instead of using a condom (Dr Jen Gunter) First of all there are no studies. Yes, I looked. As far as medical products go “beta-testing” appears to be snake oil Parseltongue for send-us-your-cash-we-have-done-absofuckinlutely-no work-on-this-what-so-ever-but-it-seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-3 a.m. Ethical researchers do not release “beta” products they complete Phase 1 studies and then recruit […]

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Hump Day, GIF Day: Faye Reagan Gets You Through The Week

August 9, 2017
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I know, I know,  Faye Reagan disappeared from porn ages ago, but she’s still my favorite redhead. I often wonder where she went? Why she quit porn? And if we’ll ever see her again? Sigh. I doubt I’ll ever get the answer to any of these questions, but a girl can keep on googling. Sadly, […]

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Britney Spears Is Weirdly Hot & Relevant While Working Out

August 8, 2017
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Who knew? Did you know? I didn’t know that Britney Spears is a smoking hot MILF?! I still remember when Britney Spears appeared on the scene. People were crazy about her. Obviously, I was much too jaded and sophisticated to like anything so popular. I was probably still busy mourning the death of Kurt Kobain. […]

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Monday Morning Before Jerk: Have You Met Sarah Banks?

July 31, 2017
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Did Sarah Banks name herself after the family in Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? Did she though? If so, she should have gone all out and named herself Ashley Banks or Hillary Banks, or even Willa Banks. Yup, I think I would have gone with Willa Banks. It has a nice ring to it, then again […]

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