Tennessee Seeking To Solve Budget Crisis By Taxing Boners,Titties

by Calvin Clark on June 2, 2018

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The state of Tennessee hopes to close their budget gap by targeting a seemingly infinite resource: horny people.

During difficult financial times, people will do away with luxuries that they have become accustom to. People will stop traveling, eating out at restaurants, and buying high end clothing but one thing they will absolutely refuse to give up is proper handling of their erections. Tennessee recognizes this fact and has figured out a way to capitalize on it.

Senate sponsor Stacey Campfield and proposed a bill that would levy a 25 percent tax on “strippers, escort services, pornography, pornographic material, things like that.” Dubbed a “sin tax,” such as those already attached to booze and cigarettes, the vague language used in the bill has a lot of people worried. For those of you unfamiliar with how American law works, vague wording is how lawyers make with the anal raping of regular people like us who don’t feel the need to argue over what the meaning of the word “is” is.

Campfield seems to think that the bill would generate $55 million in revenue for the great state of Tennessee which would apparently be used to reduce the sales tax on food items, therefore making it easier for the average Joe to feed his family. However, the effect on the industries being taxed has to be taken into consideration.

Though these industries are thriving in spite of the economic downturn, people can only be pushed so far. They aren’t going to spend 25 percent more money on sex; they’re going to buy 25 percent less of it. That’s a potential 25 percent loss of income for hard working men and women who will have their livelihood gutted, and for what? So that politicians can have a couple extra million dollars to throw around at entirely unrelated causes? Sounds like bullshit to me.

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