The US Women’s National Hockey Team Got Nude For ESPN

by Lola Byrd on July 14, 2017

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I don’t get hockey. I mean, I get how it’s played. Something about heavily padded Peepz skating after a puck on a rink trying not to trip on each other’s sticks. It’s the why of it all I don’t get. Why would you want to skate after a little black disk for entertainment? Even worse, why would you want to watch heavily padded Peepz skating after a puck for entertainment?

Now, if said Peepz were naked then I might be interested in taking a look. Not only would I have something to stare at while freezing my ass off, but it would raise the stakes.

I’ve always had this random fear of falling down while skating and having the misfortune of someone else skating over my wrists with their very sharp skates. Now, I don’t know if this has ever happened or if it’s even possible, but can you imagine losing a couple fingers because someone skated over them?

Those are the risks players would be taking if they played hockey without any clothes or padding and it’s exactly the kind of high-risk stakes that would actually make a hockey game interesting. Not to mention how fun it would be to see all those shrinking peens and perky nipples what with the cold and everything.

Back in the early days of the Olympics, the athletes used to compete naked and oiled up. I think this is a tradition we should bring back ASAP, especially where it concerns the US Women’s National Hockey Team because those ladies have buns of steel and they would look even better oiled up. Although, all that oil would be sure to cause a disaster on the ice. Something else I wouldn’t mind seeing.

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  • Zach Becvar

    Hockey is awesome!
    I remember a scene from Brazzers that was hockey themed that was pretty good. I think Jodi Bean was in it. She played goalie topless.

    • Ohh, I do need to look that up. A topless goalie is something I would like to see.

  • Cody111811

    I’d love to be a fly on the wall at team shower time. You’re lucky Lola….you get to shower with chicks no questions asked! ?

    • Women usually have locker rooms with separate stalls. Seriously, I’ve never seen a female shower locker room situation where it’s all open. We do change in front of each other, though.

  • Bey Ship

    I have never been lucky enough to be in a room full of naked women.

  • I’m pretty sure you’re gonna get kicked out of Canada for that first paragraph.

    • I know, it’s basically the bane of my existence.

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