Woman Wins Lawsuit Against Church Over Penis Cake?

by Calvin Clark on January 24, 2019

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Growing up during the cold war, I was constantly bombarded with a fairly negative image of Russia. They were the enemy and Russians were the bad guys in every action movie well into the 1990s. However, after the cold war ended and I became a far more cultured adult I would have a lot of my worldviews challenged.

Today, between the rivalry at the Olympics and allegations of election and political interference, the United States and Russia are like best friends. I’ve come to appreciate Russian culture, their humor, and the wonderful porn stars and super models they produce.

I’ve also come to learn the Russian Orthodox Church doesn’t take phallic cake pictures lightly.

Back in April of 2011 a woman from the Siberian city of Krasnoyarsk posted what she thought was a harmless picture of a celebratory Easter cake. The decoration was tall with a domed cap and had two large eggs sitting at it’s base. In other words, it looked like a giant baked penis.

More than six years later the local Christian Orthodox church finally took notice and sought legal action against the woman for making fun of their dick cake. Hmph!

While the modern Russian is far from prudish, the Orthodoxy apparently still agrees with the Bolsheviks about porn.

We once read about a secret porn vault maintained by the soviets during the time Russia was part of the Soviet Union. Apparently, Stalinists thought porn went against his ideology and decided to ban it while simultaneously keeping a secret sexy library of all the erotic material they could find. They kept their collection in a government porn vault that would eventually end up abandoned when the Soviet Union dissolved in 1991.

Even they probably wouldn’t have minded a picture of cake that accidentally resembled a penis.

The woman who took the picture says she didn’t even realize the cake looked like a wang when she posted it. She didn’t caption the picture with anything crude or acknowledged the phallic nature of the decoration in any way. The court agreed and found cleared the woman of any charges and awarded her more than 20,000 rubles in lawyer fees.

Maybe the Church should stop projecting. If I look at almost anything long enough I’ll start to see a penis in it like some kind of Magic Eye dick-poster but you don’t see me suing everyone over it.

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